So I'm mid way through my summer internship with John Deere and I must say its been a great ride!
Going into this internship was crazy...any emotion that one could possibly feel was inside of me and slowly, but surely brewing over; nervous, excited, anxious, afraid. You name it, it was there. People are afraid of the unexpected...the path less travelled, and I was (past tense) one of those people. I mean who was I, a black girl from Kansas City, MO, and student of Wilberforce University to be walking into "Corporate America" like I knew what I was doing? I had no idea what to say, how to say it, what to wear or what not to for that matter...my hair...oh God not my hair! Would it be an issue? How would people respond? Could it possibly be an issue that would limit me at such a conservative place like John Deere?
Corporate America - this unknown place to me. Almost like being in a foreign country! I mean don't get me wrong I've interacted with important business people and I felt comfortable being in a room full of strangers...but not for 3 MONTHS!
First day jitters! Is this business casual? Is my hair neat enough? Am I speaking "proper" english? Lol it's funny looking back on it, but I seriously assessed my whole being. You know the saying, "First impressions are lasting ones." I HAD to make a good first impression. Paperwork. Met My Supervisor. Blah Blah. Tour of Building. Meet the rest of the team. Shake hands (God I pray they wash their hands). Department Lunch. Awwwwkward! So 4 of us get into the car on our way to Bandit Burrito and the driver changes the radio station. Usher comes on. Thinking in my head "this is my JAM!!!" Of course right. So now everyone is probably expecting me to sing a long right? WRONG
Bandit Burrito. Okay..this is my chance for my personality to show. I have to get involved with the conversation. Can't be anti-social. Casual conversation...shouldn't be too hard right? WRONG!! My co-workers talk about house renovations, marriage, kids, car insurance. I don't know too many people who own house...I don't know too many people that are married...I could name a couple with kids lol...and who really has car insurance?! I didn't have any type of input on any of these topics...#fail!! This was going to be a loooooong summer!
By the end of the first day I HATED Corporate America! I even contemplated switching majors. I had to put so much thought into just going to work. I didn't even feel like it was worth it. I kept saying "I feel like I'm conforming" or "I feel like I have to be something/somebody that I'm not." I didn't want to stress about hair, clothes, my speech...it was overwhelming to say the least. Honestly, I wanted to quit!
Amber after reading your Blog I can sort of relate, if not all but to most of your feelings. The difference is I have yet to experience it. I know its coming soon and that's what I'm most afraid of. Have I been prepared enough to last even one day in "Corporate America"? Lord knows I hate public speaking. Let alone meeting new people and interacting with them. I'm so proud the you've received the opportunity to be exposed to another enviroment outside of black america. Yes there is a such thing as "Black America". But whose willing to step out of their comfort zone and make the best of "Corporate America". Or should we stay in the comfort zone that way we wouldn't have to change who we really are just to make it in this world? Its a lot to think about with little time to decide. That just gives us more to talk about Trip! Continue to have fun! See you next week!
ReplyDeleteWow you called me Amber?!?! Lol but on a serious note thank you and I'm definitely glad I've had the chance to experience this pre-graduation. I think sometimes the WU shelters us. Well at least me...I knew other people existed, but after coming from an HBCU, it was definitely a shock to be the minority and not be constantly surrounded by black people. Love you Trip!!
ReplyDeleteLol...I didn't realize I called u Amber either. I often think how would I feel being the minority in an eviroment. All my life I been to all black schools and lived in all black neighborhoods. Until I got to the WU(living in Xenia). I wish I would have gotten the exposure earlier though. I'm actually anxious to get out there and get a new understanding of life. How about you? And I love you too Trip.
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